Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
