Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
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