we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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