yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
