***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
