I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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