You just made me feel so damn special
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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