I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
