I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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