i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
