Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
