i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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