go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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