Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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