I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
