the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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