So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
