Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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