So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
