Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
MIDGETS
????
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
