We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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