Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
