i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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