I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize