If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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