We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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