Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
