Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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