I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
