so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
