I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
