Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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