FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Houston, we have a blender
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
