She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
