I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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