if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
