boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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