smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
