So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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