Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize