i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
