I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
