his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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