I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
