Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
