I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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