I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
