I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
