The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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