i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
