and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
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Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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