Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My breath smells like gin and sadness
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
