I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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