You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
