The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize