Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
