how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
