i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
