All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
