can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
