Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
