I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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