It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
