If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
